An Older Moms Problem .... Boobies Traveling South

Boobies Traveling South (the title bears repeating)

Everyone knows that boobs, breasts, yayas, cha-cha’s travel south in the winter years for most women right? This is due to several factors, (I am not a scientist or doctor but I’m pretty sure I have the reasons correct) gravity, genetics, cup-size (small boobies don’t go so far south), age, weight, exercise, and presumably diet. Though the principle culprits are gravity, genetics and cup-size, which means it is basically out of my control.  As I have aged – a little, very little – the girls aren’t as perky as they usto be, my true north is starting to head to Mexico. Overall I was ok with this, a good sturdy steel bra to reengineer the girls to face Canada works well.

After a year of carrying an infant, now a pre-toddler and quickly moving towards a full toddler, weighing more at every stage, well, I think it can have a negative effect on an older Mom. I principally carry Beny on the left side, I occasionally try to carry her on the right to balance things out, but it doesn’t feel comfortable. So, the problem is that for a year, I have been carrying now 21 pounds on one side of my body, flattening out one of the girls. I’m pretty sure one of the girls is pointing, maybe hanging, towards Mexico, and the other is around Oklahoma.

Thank God for underwire bras – certainly designed by a Man, but if it works, I’ll take it.

What about older Dads, do they have these problems, if anything goes South on them it is hidden by a well placed zipper.

© Yvonne B. Pérez and The Life and Confessions of an Older Mother, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Yvonne B. Pérez and The Life and Confessions of an Older Mother with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.